An Experiment
by sherlollian2016m
Summary: sherlolly
1. Game

"You didn't win you lost"

Three minutes.

Years and years of battles he proudly won ended to nothing in three minutes.

A game.

He loved to play games, except this time he was the one whose been played with.

And she played him right, it only took her three minutes and a coffin to open him, to say the unsaid.

"Emotional context Sherlock it destroys you every time"

He walked to the lid and looked to the written words.

Three words.

Three simple words had the power to destroy everything.

Every time he kept them inside his heart and locked them away in the dark because he didn't want to get hurt.

Every time he trained his tongue not to say those words together till they felt not only forbidden but alien too.

He remembered every slight kiss on her cheek that heated his lips and once burnt his heart when she moved on.

He remembered the warmth of his cheek under her lips before he left the safety of her home after his death.

He remembered every moment he wanted to spill the words out of his mouth but his good tongue was trained well and never failed him.

He remembered them all while he lifted the lid and walked to the damnable coffin and put it on.

" **I'd say you'd better break it off now and save yourself the pain** ... _because I like you?!_ "

 _No_

" **I don't count"** _but I love you?!_

 _No_

 _"_ **You've always counted and I've always trusted you**... _and I've always loved you"_

 _No_

" **I hope you'll be very happy, Molly Hooper**... _because I love you_ "

 _NO_

Stepping unconsciously in front of her when Smith came, he wasn't even aware of what he was doing, he suddenly had the need to protect her from this snake's eyes.

 _NO_

He ran his hand near the unheavenly words, not able to touch them and sobbed.

All the moments he could say them to her and refused so he wouldn't get hurt, wouldn't feel weak for anyone.

"No" he couldn't keep his protests inside anymore.

"Say it **_like_** you mean it"

Now not only he revealed his deep hidden love, but she wouldn't even believe him, she believed she's an experiment, a joke.

"No"

He didn't just hurt himself he hurt her too.

"NO"

The coffin had it coming.

He rained all his anger and rage and agony over it screaming his helplessness.

He thought it would make him feel better to break it down to pieces but it didn't, it only exhausted him more and more.

His legs couldn't hold him anymore and his hands were shaking.

He fell to the floor panting and feeling numb, he couldn't take it anymore.

John.

His friend.

He always was his strength.

"Soldiers?"

"Soldiers."

He took his hands and rose him from the ground, as he always did.

He vowed to himself if he ever left these hell's walls alive he would fix it for her, for them no matter what was the cost.

But now wasn't the time.

The game wasn't over.

And he knew it wasn't getting any easier.


	2. Start over

She heard him picked the lock of her front door..

She took her time, raising from her bed and reaching for her robe. She knew him well to expect this kind of behaviour from him.

She avoided him since that day, never answered his calls or even checked messages from him. She didn't know what to do with everything that had happened.

She wanted to hurt him.

She admitted to herself that was the reason why she asked him to say those words first, knowing he would never mean them and it would only cause him distress to say it to anyone at all.

He was Sherlock Holmes, he doesn't do love, it was her ' _if I'm going down I'll take you with me'_ kind of revenge.

What she couldn't process was how the words didn't sound like a lie both times he said them. She couldn't even fathom how he had said it twice.

She asked him to say it like he meant it, _he was an excellent performer,_ she reminded reminded herself.

But it never worked on her, she always saw through his s**t, he didn't fool her even once when he faked flirting with her, she knew every single time.

And what she heard that day wasn't a lie, it was the reason why she couldn't face him.

It scared the daylights out of her, there was nothing crueler than hope.

She tightened the robe around herself, walking slowly into the living room and turning on the lights as she passed the switch.

He was standing there, he looked well in general, nice suit, the same belstaff, perfect hair and neatly wound scarf.

But she knew him, the redness of his eyes and the slight shake of his hands told her another story, he wasn't well at all.

"I've never begged in my life" he said after eyeing her for a long time, waiting for her to kick him out of her home and her life.

But she was patient, asking him to explain with her warm eyes.

 _And this was the best he could come with?_

He prepared himself for days on what he should say, how to assure her he meant every word, to tell her all the circumstances that surrounded him that day.

He knew Lestrade told her few details about what happened but he wanted her to know everything.

But standing in front of her, seeing her pale skin and her exhausted eyes took him aback.

She looked like she wanted to say something, but she bit her lips to stop, giving him another chance.

He tried to remember the words he had practiced.

"My sister threatened she would blow up your house if I couldn't make you say it," he began with facts.

"She gave me three minutes," he closed his eyes in pain."Just three minutes."

 _The shortest and longest three minutes of my life. The three minutes when I realized I could lose you if I didn't hurt you. I was stupid, I didn't realize how in love I already was with you._

He wanted to tell her that, but he didn't. He took her sight, strong and fragile at the same time. She was truly the definition of a paradox.

"Don't you ever ignore my calls again," he told her instead,with shaking voice and pleading eyes then he remembered this wasn't a part of his speech.

He closed his eyes again to gain control this time.

"What I want to say is – it wasn't was me and I was the experiment."

He needed her to know he would never play with her feelings this way, he needed her to believe that he cared for her too much that it hurt, he couldn't even think of the word even after he said it, coward.

He waited for her to say something – anything. She looked hurt at first, contemplative with what he had said to her and was looking down at her own feet.

Then, after what felt like a lifetime, she looked up and smiled at him.

"You did what you had to do, your friend was in danger and you did your _**best**_ to save her".

"No, no,no, you don't understand," he said exasperatedly.

Not what he meant, not what he wanted to say – no.

"She wanted me to say it" he looked to her in desperation.

She frowned

 _Why can't she see me?_

"There was a coffin with the words written on it" he said swallowing hard trying not to tremble and failing.

Her eyes widened.

"She knew" his lips began to quiver.

He could tell she wanted to say something, so he pressed on. He had to say it before he lost all his nerves. All his resolve.

"My darkest fear and my worst nightmare," he clenched his fist. "Losing you without having the chance –"

She looked at him questioningly.

"– to say those words," he couldn't bring himself to say it – not again, not yet.

But she understood, like he knew she would.

"I wanted you to know that I meant it, every single word," he said ready to leave, to let her think of what he said. He knew that she had told John before she needed time, but he couldn't just let her go on with her assumptions without explaining everything – without telling her what she meant to him.

"Sherlock"

Her soft voice prompted him to turn on his heel.

"I was wondering," she looked down thinking, tightening her arms around her body as if she was protecting herself from more pain.

And then she did the unthinkable, she looked up at him and smiled. He was baffled.

"Would you like to have coffee"

Sherlock wasn't sure if he should kneel, thanking Molly and promising her everything or to pull her close and laugh, really laugh. But he knew enough that he had to take it slow. He owed Molly at least that much. In the end, he nodded.

"Black, two sugars."

She chuckled.

He grinned in relief.


	3. Melody

The melody he played this time was sweet and soft.

She started to play with him three minutes later. It was a long time compared with his other visits to join him, she looked sad.

His last visit was a month ago, he used to visit her every week but life went between him and his weekly routine especially with the new event he was planning himself.

He closed his eyes in ecstasy after a while, began to get lost in the tune, he played it before hundred times, but this time it wasn't just playing, he lived it too with every move from his hand, he didn't even notice his violin was the only voice heard in the room for fifteen seconds.

"I want to see her."

He stopped suddenly after hearing his sister's voice, his eyes perfectly reflected his horror watching her with her Stradivarius still in hands. She smiled.

"Congratulations by the way, will you invite me to the wedding?" she asked sweetly.

His jaw clenched in unease, he took off his ring before he entered, stupid, he should've known better.

"It's only fair, it wasn't going to happen without my help" she grinned.

He put his violin in its case, ready to leave.

"When I'm going to meet her?" She asked again.

"Not under my watch" he declared giving her his back before leaving.

"I said NO." Molly heard her fiancé's barking from down stairs, she got used to it. She thought it was another client he refused to take his case.

"You have my word. Molly won't be in any kind of harm," she stopped when she heard her name said from Mycroft.

"Why would I even take this risk?" Sherlock voice was shaking.

"You know exactly why Sherlock," Mycroft was talking calmly, like he was trying to soothe a wild animal.

"And I told you I DON'T CARE, SHE WON'T MEET HER" he barked again.

She couldn't stay out anymore, she took a deep breath and headed to the flat.

"Why can't I meet my sister in-law?" She said cheerfully surprising Sherlock and Mycroft with her presence.

"Hello Dr. Hooper it's really good to see you." Mycroft said, he sounded really sincere, he even let out a sigh of relief.

Sherlock was the ultimate opposite of his brother's state.

He clenched his fists.

"Don't," he warned her.

"What? It's going to happen eventually," she said lightly.

"Molly, you don't know what she's capable of, she's dangerous" he tried to talk to her logically, make her see the error in this proposal.

"Well, what is family if not a bunch of complications," she grinned.

"For god's sake this is not time for jokes" he shouted, his lips were trembling.

"Who said I'm joking?" She was still smiling, it only raised his anger.

"When exactly can I meet her?" She turned to Mycroft.

"Dr. Hooper I can understand if you didn't want to..."

"What are the consequences?"

He swallowed hard.

"When we don't give her the present she asks for after every case she solves she refuses to reciprocate." He stated.

"And when she doesn't," she asked.

He looked to his brother who was begging him with his eyes.

"A disaster, we need her help in a national matter of safety but she refuses to help till she receives her gift from the last case."

She frowned.

"Three minutes with you" he clarified.

She could hear Sherlock's harsh breaths.

"Well I guess the answer to my first question is sooner better than latter."

Sherlock grabbed her hand with force begging her.

"Molly, don't play brave here, she slaves people with her words, she changes them in ways you can't even..."

"I already took care of that Sherlock" Mycroft interrupted him.

"As I told you before, I will never put Dr. Hooper in any harm" he said sincerely looking to them.

Molly entered the room with hesitating steps and studied the woman behind the mirror, Sherlock was already there waiting for her. He never got his eyes away from Eurus.

"They said you can hear me but I can't" Eurus didn't move from her seat.

There was an awkward silence, she didn't know what to say to the woman who faked threatening her life in such a way to hurt him, the result was unexpectedly beautiful but still.

Molly eyed the little box in her hands nervously and began to find her voice again.

"Uhm I got you a little present" she said with sweet smile.

She put it in the container, Eurus didn't get up till she stood away.

"Sherlock showed me your pictures when you were young, I noticed you had a lot of hair pins in different shapes and colors so I guessed..." she babbled while Eurus opened the box and stopped to catch her reaction.

Eurus frowned in surprise. She tilted her head to the side raising an eyebrow eyeing the box contains of colorful hair pins.

"Childish, I know maybe not the best present for an adult, I just thought.." Eurus took two golden pins from the box and went to the mirror in hurry and put them on.

Molly didn't say a word the whole time, she was surprised especially when Eurus smiled to herself looking to the mirror and went back to face her.

"Well I see you like it" they both grinned.

"Three minutes" Sherlock announced taking her hand to leave the room.

"I can see why you like her." He stopped dead in his track.

He moved fast to the button that opened the door when he recovered pulling Molly with him.

"Would you tell him to play it for me Molly?" She said sweetly.

Molly frowned.

"Eurus stop." The door wasn't getting opened.

"Oh you didn't even play it for her, did you?" She grinned.

Red alarms began to lighten up and sirens began to be heard.

"I see, a wedding gift from the groom, so romantic."

He heard voices from outside trying to make the door opened.

"Maybe I'll listen to it at the reception." she whispered but he heard her clearly.

"Take good care of him Molly darling."

The door finally got opened he didn't wait for a second and ran with Molly's hand between his for dear life.

The melody he played was disturbing.

His weekly visits were having the same kind of pieces, beautiful, but disturbing in the same time.

Nothing bad had happened as he predicted.

After they discovered the employee who helped Eurus, everything went back to normal.

He played his heart at the wedding as he planned, to tell the world who he belonged to, to show Molly and make her hear how much he loved her.

His hands and heart were with the music but his eyes were scanning the place searching for her, she wasn't in sight.

He expected any change in Molly's behavior or any change at all but nothing happened.

"You never missed a week since then" she pulled him out of his thoughts.

He looked to her with a frown, he didn't understand.

"Do you want me to stop?"

She smirked.

"I was answering the question that was running in your head for the past month."

He stopped playing.

"Why did I want to see her?".


End file.
